Pros and Cons of Self-Defeating Behaviors

Ally and Rob have been dating for a year. They get into a big fight the day before Valentine’s Day. Ally decides to cut off all contact with Rob the following day. What are the pros and cons of her decision? Why people make decisions that are manifestly against their own self-interest is a question […]

Managing Transitions Effectively

Transitions are inherently stressful, whether they are transitions for the better or the worse. A first step in managing transitions effectively is to acknowledge and accept their inherently stressful nature. Acceptance does not mean approval, a distinction Marsha Linehan, the author of DBT, has made clear. Acceptance just means recognizing reality as it currently is; […]

Do I Have Enough Ambition?

The question “do I have enough ambition” could be a disguised statement or a disguised judgment. Our minds are filled with the judgments and beliefs of important figures in our lives: parents, siblings, other caretakers, teachers, buddies, etc. So is this inquiry about ambition your own or is it the internalized “voice” of a person […]

The Benefits and Costs of Suppressing Emotion

Suppressing emotion is like putting the cover over a pot heating on the stove. Before placing that cover, it may therefore be helpful to know the reasons for doing so. Is the pot coming to a boil? Are you concerned about what you might do if the pot does boil? What are the circumstances for […]